Colds, Computers & Kids, oh my!

All-righty, then! Let's get back to business....for the past week or two, we've battled nasty colds, a nasty computer and nasty kids. Was it a full moon? Is the earth changing? (alert Al Gore!) But seriously, I remember for years, ok, decades, I'd have 2 colds per year in fall and spring. Your simple basic 5 day stuffy head, runny nose cold. Now, they come every 2 months, with a fever and last longer! What gives?

We finally gave into our 7 year old computer - it was extremely out-dated, ancient! We bought a new one for 1/3 the price we paid 7 yrs ago! I will never be able to keep up with technology! The old one was locking up and shutting down just trying to open other people's blogs! It would take 5 minutes before it finally shut down. So off to a trip to Best Buy - we bought the least expensive which was 2-3 times more powerful than what we had. Just like when our vacuum died last fall. I could have bought the cheapest vacuum because anything would have been better than the 25yrs Hoover. But now we are up and running with lightening speed and I I'm still checking out all this new computer can do.

Oh, one thing regarding Best Buy....what's up with the lack of expertise from their staff? I know its just kids with part-time jobs, but could they at least speak clearly and admit they don't know and get someone who does? And listen folks, when oyu get a new computer and you ask about transfering files from the old to the new, Best Buy will try and make oyu pay $200 for the Geek Squad to install everything. Wrong. They sell cables to interface and you push a few buttons and the transfering is done. Simple.

Now, about nasty kids. I don't know what the planet was doing, which way the winds were blowing but the kids were challenging - that's 'pc' for those who can't just say rotten or mean and nasty. Or a host of other words. But, they were better yesterday and I'm hoping the next few days will be stable.

How Does God Work?

I am not religious, but believe in a spirituality - of sorts. I'm grounded in science but open to powerful occurances. Angels, Souls. Not sure about one Supreme (male) Being. In my previous post, "A Mother's Grief" below, about a mother losing her baby to illness. Why, is the big question. She raises the point of unintentional diminishing comments like, "It happens for a reason." She doesn't buy it, and neither do I. A baby with a fatal illness. What is the point? Where is God in that decision?

Some may say, at least she had those months - what, watching her child endure chemotherapy? What good reason is there in that? I saw on Oprah yesterday in their Spirituality program, a pastor said, "God doesn't make people sick." Well, if God is all-encompassing, the One who does and answers to everything, do-er of good, created the universe, makes everything....where is the line between what He creates & does, and what He doesn't? What exactly does He do and not do? Maybe this will help me to understand Him....or Her.

I do believe in Angels watching over us and that our bodies are for carrying around the souls on earth. Strange...for some reason I can grasp that concept but I can't grasp onto God. I believe in the power of prayer, but hesitate on praying to one Being. So I guess I pray to the Angels for help. I believe that our friends and families who have died are still watching over us - they and the Angels are our sixth sense, gut intuition re-directing us. But where are they in deciding who lives and who dies?

The mother of baby Peyton, wrote that she had a near-miss accident at a red-light. Something in her made her see another car going too fast and not stopping for a red-light. She listened to her gut and stayed put. Had she not listened, she could very well be with her daughter today. So does everything happen for a reason? That car came from nowhere, chance or reason? She stayed put, chance or reason? God's decision to have the car run the light or for her to stay?

Questions I don't know the answers to. But here's my philosophy on "things happen for a reason": We humans want, maybe need, to understand things. So when something happens that we don't understand, like a child dying, we strive to find a good reason. Like there really is one. We want to explain the unexplainable, give reason to it so we feel better. Ah. that's the reason the child died. There is NO GOOD reason. No reason at all.

Reasons eventhough well intentioned, always diminish the initial happening. A good father killed by a drunk driver. More awareness raised for drunk driving. A teen killed by lightening. Awareness for dangers of lightening. Well intentioned outcomes, initial happening diminished to "well, at least somebody else is saved." Remember the movie, Pay It Forward? The boy dies, but he did good things and brought a community together. I still say he didn't need to die.

After many clicks on a computer, I read a blog about a mother's grief for her child who died. I will now be a better mother. Her child didn't need to die for me to be a better mom. Things happen but not for a reason. Where was the Supreme Being for her and her child?

A Mother's Grief

I was just introduced to another blog Once A Mother as referred by Trisha at momdot. It is a blog written by a mom who lost her baby daughter Peyton to leukemia. Please read her posts on her journey through grief, you will think and question along with her and you will be touched. Kleenex needed. Her words have deeply touched me - more like impacted me.

I have struggled with motherhood. Early on, I embraced it, but as my babies became toddlers, and my desires for working grew, I became a worse mother. I never sought to be a supermom, but there is the belief of doing it all. Naptime = work. Bedtime = work. Sounds pretty simple. Except I wanted to check emails & make calls while they played. And we all know, sometimes, no often, naptime & bedtime can only last 30 minutes! So time and again, its kids don't bother me, I'm working. Go play by yourself. Go outside. Go, Go, GO!!

Reading this mother's story came at an opportune time. For the past few days, I've questioned whether I should continue to start a business. I've notived that whenever I turn-off my working brain, I am a better mom. A few days ago, we went into the yard during supper and did cartwheels. Yesterday, we went to a park on a lake. The kids played in the water and sand. And we were relaxed. It was really nice.

She did not have a choice. She spent her days in the hospital watching her baby endure chemo. I have a choice. I made a choice. I've got to be a better mother. Less yelling, less shewing away. More hugs, more TIME. I've had time to sit here at the computer reading her story for over an hour, crying, sobbing at the saddness for her and the guilt I feel, questioning my own motives. I have 2 beautiful and healthy boys that many mothers would envy.

I don't know the answer of what I'll do. But, clearly, I haven't been a supermom at balancing motherhood, work and having a clean house. So maybe this is at the very least a wakeup call to getting balance and correcting my priorities. Family first.

The Color Purple, I Mean Turquoise!

I recently discovered a new decorating and products blog showcasing the color turquoise. Anything and everything is in various shades of that wonderful color. The site is House of Turquoise. Erin scans the internet for decorating treasures to fill or accent your rooms with the turquoise color.

So I started thinking about the color turquoise, how years (decades) ago I used to not only love it but wear it and have it around. I was drawn to it. I think I still am, but currently as a mom of 2 toddler boys, I am wearing dark colors to go with my never-ending frumpiness!

In the 80's it was all about turquoise and pink - yes, I had a swimsuit in those colors. And, waaayyy back, a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away I think my first pair of real jewelry was a pair of turquoise earrings...or could have been a necklace!

What do or did you have that's turquoise?

Hooked On Moving (not!)

My husband and I just went on a 24hr moving 'trip.' I was exhausted. We are both in-sync with eachother and follow the same path which is usually a good thing in a marriage, but can also be not so good. See if you can follow our trip...

Our discussion went like this: I'd like to decorate....we'd both like to reduce our mortgage and taxes...we'd both like to build up our savings....we should refinance...I don't want to pay closing costs on a refinance if we're not going to stay here long term....closing costs are ridiculously high...gosh, houses in our neighborhood are selling....we could sell the house and get a smaller one.....ok, what could we live without....would you be happy with a longer commute?....should I re-decorate to sell?....we have work that should be done to sell....I'd like to be on a lake...or closer to a big city....he'd like 20 acres....I'm ok with an older farm if its near a city....he could transfer job locations.....wow, we can move almost anywhere!

We go to lunch and pick up the real estate catalogs at the restaurant and scan them while eating. After kids go to bed, I spend the entire evening into the wee-hours looking at real estate online.

Do I really want to be waaaayyyy out in the country 20 miles from a Staples or Home Depot? I'm starting a biz, I need Staples. He needs Home Depot and Auto Zone. I really would prefer to be closer to a city. Oh, what about school systems - need to check into that.

A new house would need a screened porch, a big yard, character, a shed, lots of cupboards, a huge finished basement for the kids.

Oh, wait we have all that, except for the basement. I woke up thinking, "This house is ok. Yes, it's expensive, but we'll just need to work harder on our finances. I'm just not ready to pack up and move again. Moving here was our 4th move in 4 years. My husband said the same thing! We just aren't ready to jump into the whirlwind of moving!

Are you hooked on movingor not?

Wordless Wednesday!

I think this is such a cool pic...

We found a tractor show to go to on Sunday....he loves John Deere! When he first was learning colors, there was no green....it was John Deere.

And my little guys:

Time For Mom

With summer here, I know where & how I’ll be spending my summer hours…sitting on the front porch watching the kids ride their bikes in the driveway. This means, I cannot do other things, like work, blog, clean, cook, or nap. But, a blessing in disguise…I can read! I never read books or magazines anymore. It’s another enjoyment that disappears when starting a family.

So last week I grabbed the magazine, "Cottage Living," I found at my salon and I read it! I mean I read the words! Not just looking at the pictures, but reading. I felt inspired to decorate. I found the paint colors for our bedroom ceiling (between the beams), a muted blue-ish green that will work perfectly with the spa color scheme I want to do. And a lighter grey-tan for the beams.



On occasion, I read a magazine passed on from a neighbor, “More.” I love that magazine. I can relate to it and for once I am not constantly staring at super-thin 15 year old models on every page. I am looking at women who are my age, reading articles relevant to mature, sophisticated women. (did I just say I’m mature & sophisticated? Definitely not, but you know what I mean)

And I did something I haven’t done in years…. I just ordered a subscription to More! I think it’s about time given my husband has more than a few magazines piling up on the back of the john! So, yes, it’s time for mom to relax, read, and get inspired about things that once excited me!